4:09 AM

 

Classical music almost inaudible — just enough to mask the buzz of the air vent. You can never sleep when the air is on.

We’ve made it through a long day. A day more stressful than usual, but we have come out stronger people, with a stronger relationship. We may have struggled, but here we are —

our bodies intertwined. We always come together at the end of the day.

You laying on your back, me on my side.

My forehead against your temple.

My left hand gently holding your right.

I run my fingers through your hair.

You kiss me good night; your breath slows.

And finally, you sleep.

njetnrekwgn;ewoiuhgn;.rwekh

Money.

I hate money.

Money keeps me awake at night. Like tonight. After I worked all day, I am exhausted, but I can’t sleep because of money.

Money makes me feel violent.

It makes me crazy.

This is it. This is my declaration to NOT WORRY ABOUT MONEY ANYMORE. I just want to scream it! I want to break free!

Chris and I don’t spend money with abandon. We look for the best deal for everything – insurance, furniture, etc. I like to think we’re doing a good job. We are still learning and planning and changing our path.

I pray that we have enough. I pray that we are happy. We don’t need to be wealthy, but worrying about paying Chris’s medical bills from his skiing accident does not make me happy. I hope all newlywed couples just starting out have these worries. We are living on one income, because my husband is generous enough to encourage me to go after I want – even if that means student loans instead of paychecks.

Can you tell I’ve been getting some pretty scary bills in the mail lately?

But I can’t change it. We will make it work, we always do. I keep repeating “It’s just money.” And it is. It’s just money.

I feel better.

children with fur

If you’ve met me for any length of time, you know rescuing dogs is the driving goal in my life. Having a facility to bring abandoned dogs in, find foster homes, and rehabilitate dogs is what I work towards everyday. It’s something that takes time and money, so right now I do what I can by taking in Sammie and Lex and finding homes for other dogs I come across.

However, I know that shelters always need more hands. Working in a shelter is a fear I’ve never been able to conquer. I know there are no-kill shelters out there, but the kill shelters are the ones that need help the most. Seeing those helpless animals in such a sad situation would be more than I could handle. Even looking at shelter websites brings tears to my eyes. But I feel like as someone who is so quick to defend a dog and make more than enough reasons to bring him or her home that I need to start volunteering in a shelter and helping these dogs as much as I can.

Its scary. Going into a place knowing full well you won’t solve all their problems. It breaks my heart to think about. But you gotta do what you gotta do. And I gotta help more dogs find loving homes and love as many dogs as I can.

spring 2010 002 Bay spring 2010 001

Top: Our dog, sweet Sammie and Bailey – a rescue from the Blacksburg Humane Society. Possibly the most passionate dog I’ve ever met. So happy we brought her home to live with my two best friends. Middle: Rusty is the big one smelling Sammie. He now lives with my friend and old roommate, Liz. Such a sweetheart. And Toula! My dad brought her home from a pet store – she was a clearance puppy who had never seen grass. Now she is the queen of the castle and my brother and sister-in-law’s house. We don’t usually make her wear handkerchiefs. And the last dog: Piper – my first dog, my best friend.

 I also want to say that I am not opposed to dogs coming from breeders. All dogs deserve love, all dogs deserve homes. My Welsh Corgi, Piper, came from a breeder. I can’t imagine life without her. All I ask of anyone is to be kind to your animals and allow them to be the loving animals they want to be.